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lyrics

*Dialogue

MRS. CHAPMAN:
Oh Ernie, I don't care what anybody thinks
about the things I do.
I'm not crazy, you know me.
I'm just senile for you.

Why's everybody always starin' at me?
Glarin' at me? Preparin' tah be offended?
Would sorry make you mended?
'Cuz I care, I swear, I pretended.

They say,"Ira where is your filter?"
Just because I'm old I'm supposed to be a quilter?
I'd rather speak my mind than make blankets and snack treats.
Hit 'em with the truth while you hit 'em with the back beat.
That's sweet, DJ, that sure helps.
And I freestyle better than Michael Phelps.
My name is Ira. I'm the I.R.A.
Savin' up your money honey, keep it that way.
Can't buy me love, but you can buy me that,
and that, and that, and how much for your hat?

*Dialogue

People say I'm crazy,
I'm just crazy, for you baby.
Maybe I'm the other kind of crazy too.
No denial boo, I'm senile for you
Kyle it's true.

DR. CHAPMAN:
I love you, and you just forgot my name.
You had an accident inside your brain.
To be with you gives me a certain thrill.
I will love you all night baby once I find my special pills.
Yeah.

MRS. CHAPMAN:
I am not a material girl.
Unless diamonds are material or silk is material.
I don't like cereal, except for the fiber.
Antibacterial soap, that's how you bribe her.
'Cuz women love to be clean, and pampered.
Can't live our lives inside a laundry hamper.
I also need lovin' and groovin',
prune juice on ice would get me movin'.

DR. CHAPMAN:
Why did you have to say that out loud?
Did you think it would make me proud?
You embarrass me, but I love you so I have no choice.

MRS. CHAPMAN:
You suck at rapping honey, stick to your voice.

DR. CHAPMAN:
People say I'm crazy, I'm just crazy, for my baby.
Maybe I'm the other kind of crazy too.
I'm a doctor who loves to shock and woo, only you.

ROD:
I don't know what the hell is going on.
Where I'm from this is highly frowned upon.
I just smile and do whatever they say.

MRS. CHAPMAN:
I think you should dance right now.

ROD:
(Okay.)
The customer is always right.
No need to put up any fight. (X4)

MRS. CHAPMAN:
I wish everyone would dance. (X4)

DR. CHAPMAN:
I still love you (X2)

DR. CHAPMAN & MRS. CHAPMAN & ROD:
People say we're crazy, we're just crazy for our baby.
Maybe you should just go and get rid of this
judgement you have cast, and consider this.

ROD:
Consider this.

DR. CHAPMAN & MRS. CHAPMAN:
We all want to love somebody.

ROD:
And make some money.

DR. CHAPMAN & MRS. CHAPMAN:
All want to heal somebody.

ROD:
And make some money.
All want to love some money.

DR. CHAPMAN & MRS. CHAPMAN:
And make somebody.

ROD:
All want to love some money.

DR. CHAPMAN & MRS. CHAPMAN:
And make somebody.

DR. CHAPMAN & MRS. CHAPMAN & ROD:
People say we're crazy, but they're crazy.

ELLIE:
I can hardly believe it
I found someone new to think of.
Been so long for my love life,
now I have a life with love.

credits

from Chiropractical: Original Cast Recording, released October 23, 2014

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Chiropractical

Chiropractical is a full length musical comedy by Nick Jester. It happily premiered on August 11th 2011.
Finally, a musical with a backstory!

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