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Out at sea for seven fortnights,
no TV, no baseball sport nights, no
Yo Ho.
Nothing but men, a man's not Mandy.
Found my hand got pretty handy. Oh.
Yo Ho.
Oh, so lonely out on the sea.

I met a girl dressed like a man,
on the poop deck mop in hand.
She was disguised to be in the Navy.
Her name was Ira and we called her Davy.
She sank me just like an Anchor,
And my Harpoon really sank her.
I fell in love and my heart sang.
My Harpoon found Harpoon-Tang.

Pretty soon the men got wise
and they began to realize the sitch.
Hey Mitch.
Davy became a wanted man
but no one seemed to understand at all.
Hey Paul.
Oh, that I need my baby, oh my lady.

I grabbed Ira and we ran away
to a lifeboat, and on that day
I was so thrilled that I proposed.
She blushed and took off her clothes.
Not a good idea for the chilly season,
but a great idea for other reasons.
I fought for her for the rest of my life.
I'll always fight for Ira, my wife.
My wife.


She was beautiful on that day,
and her beauty always remains the same.
A dame.
Except that she is old and wrinkley now.



from Chiropractical: Original Cast Recording, released October 23, 2014



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Chiropractical is a full length musical comedy by Nick Jester. It happily premiered on August 11th 2011.
Finally, a musical with a backstory!

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